(Expectations vs Reality) In this video, I share 5 unrealistic expectations that ruin your life or make you miserable. “I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep my expectations.”― Bill Watterson
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➢Are your expectations ruining your life?
➢How can we manage our expectations?
What are some unreasonable expectations in a relationship?…. There are so many thoughtful questions about this and how they influence our lives. Being able to manage your expectations is the key to finding the happiness that has eluded you.
Whether we know it or not, we all have expectations placed on us by our family, partners, relationships, society, friends, colleagues, and so many others.
Most often we fall into the trap of trying to meet these expectations that we end up feeling miserable with no clue as to why.
So, what happens when you don’t meet your expectations?
Your expectations and those of others have an incredible impact on how happy or sad you become.
That’s why it is important for you to know how your expectations and that of others make you feel.
For this reason, we’ve found 5 expectations you probably have that are making you miserable and how you can manage them.
You expect people to think like you
We are all different, and you need to come to terms with it.
You cannot expect others to think as you do or behave in a certain manner. That will only leave you with disappointments.
People encounter situations where their partner, friend, or family member expects them to think things through as they would.
While some don’t communicate their expectations. Then they feel sad when they realize the other person isn’t meeting that expectation.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s okay to expect things from people but when they fail, where does that leave you?
Sad, and disappointed?
Here’s how you could manage that:
Understand that it’s not okay to expect others to think like you, or act as you do.
It also pays to communicate your others so there’s a mutual understanding whether at work, with your partner, friends, etc
Make sure your expectations are not too high or unrealistic that it jeopardizes your relationship with that person.
You expect life to be fair
I was one of those people who strongly believed the world owes them for the good they do. I learned the truth about life and its unfairness with no regard to age, ethnicity, or status.
We don’t always get the things we deserve, such is life. Doing everything good and still bad things happen, and you ask the question “why me?”
Have you ever wondered why someone can be a jerk, tricky, or cruel and still get good things they want in life?
Whereas you who have been kind-hearted, honest, and done a lot of good in life still face hardship, cruelty even from those you were good to.
Only to wake up to the realization that life is just not fair.
That’s life, good things happen to bad people and sometimes bad thing happen to good people. It is without a doubt that if you keep expecting life to be fair, you will be headed for loads of disappointment.
We all wish life is fair sometimes but the reality is that it isn’t and sometimes it’s not something you can do anything about but accept the truth.
Embrace the truth of life and its unpredictability.
This shouldn’t stop you from being a good person and putting in the effort to get the things that you want out in life because life also rewards your effort.
You think opportunities will always come
If you think that opportunities will always come your way, you are mistaken. Believe me when I say opportunities won’t always go your way until you seek them.
Truth be told, you will waste your time waiting for the right opportunity to come knocking at your door. Imagine how sad you will be when you realize you’ve wasted your years waiting for a chance that never comes.
Steps to take:
Don’t wait expecting life to throw opportunities at your door. Go after them and be prepared to seize it whenever it emerges.
You expect people to agree with you
Have you ever been sad because your friend disagreed with you completely on something you cared so deeply about?
Well, am sorry to burst the bubble on this one but not everyone will agree with you.
Sometimes people will disagree with you just for the sake of disagreeing with you.
If you believe someone dear to you should agree with your opinions or views, you will be miserable all your life.
Take a look at your life and reflect on this question; do you get offended when people don’t agree with you?
If you do, then you might want to step back a bit and ponder over it.
You need to accept that you can’t force your views on others.
Rather than expecting people to always agree with you on matters that concern you, seek to understand from their point of view.
Get rid of the thought you have that says “I‘m always right.”
You expect people to change
It is hard enough to change yourself let alone changing others.
A lot of people get into relationships with the hopes that they will change their partner and believe their partner will change. When it turns out to be the opposite they end up disappointed. They learn the brutal truth that they can’t change people.
Like Garrison Wynn said, “You can’t change people but you can affect a change in them by your behavior.”
When someone really wants to change, they will make the effort to change themselves for the better.
Please Stop! Stop trying to change others.
Quit expecting your partner, friend, colleague, or family member to change. It’s hard enough to change yourself, something you have been doing your whole life.
Trying to change others is the quickest way to a life of misery and disappointment. Change starts with you like a wise man said – “be the change you seek in this world“.
Break free from the illusion you created, expecting to change others.
“You can’t change how people treat you or what they say about you.
All you can do is change how you react to it.”-
Now that you are aware of how your expectations can make your life miserable. Keep these in mind as you set simplistic expectations for yourself and others
more importantly manage your expectations so it doesn’t manage you.