A life without relationships is devoid of meaning and no man is an island. Relationships are necessary for the functionality of the world. Most times, we have a wrong perspective as to how it should be.
We often admire good relationships but don’t exactly know what it takes to have such. So here are a few truths about relationships that you will find helpful.
“To get the full value of joy, you must have someone to divide it with.”Mark Twain
#1. A Successful Relationship Takes A Lot Of Work
As with everything that grows, a relationship needs to be cultivated. Skills such as good communication, emotional intelligence, empathy, understanding, and relatability come in really handy in fostering a successful relationship. A lot of us just up and leave when the relationship seems turbulent.
While this could be a good thing depending on the situation and can help protect your state of mind and personal peace, it is necessary to fight for those valuable relationships in our lives. This transcends to providing us with a sense of security and fulfillment.
#2. You Have a love Deficiency
Honestly, most times it’s not about the next person. It’s a YOU problem. You have a love deficiency problem. Simply put, you cannot give what you don’t have. It’s like drawing from an empty well, it’s futile. You cannot love another if you do not love yourself.
Don’t be hard on yourself because you could be struggling with real-life issues like low self-esteem, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Inferiority complex, and so on.
The emptiness we feel in our relationships may be as a result of these factors. This is why it is important to work on yourself, build your self-esteem and self-confidence if you want to have a successful relationship.
#3. A Relationship Cannot Fix Your Loneliness Problem
Being lonely and being alone are two different things. Though being alone is the remote cause of loneliness, the latter is usually deeper and may not be as easily fixed as the former. Being alone is as literal as it implies, you’re probably without friends due to uncontrollable circumstances. Like when we were subjected to social distancing during the Covid’19 lockdown.
Being lonely on the other hand happens irrespective of us being surrounded by people. It could be as a result of lingering feelings of rejection causing one to recline, a childhood void of affection, and so many other reasons.
But one way to identify loneliness is that it is constant regardless of how many relationships we enter. The best thing to do is to seek for help to overcome this challenge.
#4. You Have Been Scammed
Who was it that told you that a relationship gives you purpose? Go get back your subscription fee because that’s a fat lie! No relationship has the ability to assign your life’s purpose to you, it’s a fallacy.
If you’re yet to figure out what it is you need to be doing and it’s a big deal to you, then we’ll tell you this for free: a relationship is not something you want to get into to have a sense of purpose. Find yourself first.
#5. It Doesn’t Always Have To End In Relationships
Go back, read that again. Did you get it? Good. NOT ALL FEELINGS OF INTEREST, CRUSH, OR EMOTIONAL INCLINATION SHOULD END IN A RELATIONSHIP. This is one of the hard truths about relationships that we choose to ignore.
A lot of us ruin good friendships because of romantic entanglements. Different friendships are for different reasons. Like drug abuse implies the wrong usage of drugs, assigning a relationship to the wrong role is abuse.
#6. You Are Not Ready
As with all the other hard truths about relationships, you are probably already giving yourself a thousand and one reasons why this doesn’t relate to you. How about you be honest with yourself. It’s about time now yeah?
Sometimes we only know how to be in a relationship we do not get enough time out of it to know ourselves. Most people living unfulfilled lives admitted that they throw away the time supposed to be for personal investment and end up feeling empty. Pairing up doesn’t fill the vacuum, it only makes it obvious.
#7. You Won’t Always Agree
Your views may be different most times. There isn’t a rule that states that being on the same page is a measure of love. You are different individuals with different histories and backgrounds so you cannot always have the same stance on things.
It isn’t a problem. in fact, it is a measure of the health of your relationship. Because it proves that your relationship is nurturing enough to accommodate the differences of everyone. Real love allows for apparent polarities.
#8. It’s Ok To Be Scared
“The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it.”Nicholas Sparks
Sometimes real love comes with fear. It could be the fear of losing your loved ones, or the fear of messing things up, or even the fear of getting hurt. Whatever it is, fear is a valid emotion. Don’t be too hard on Yourself but don’t also dwell on it.
Most times it’s a feeling that indicates the current state of things or a warning for what is to come. So it’s more advisable to pay attention to it and address it from its routes. If you apply this particular truth about relationships to yours, it will make it stronger.
#9. You Will Get Overwhelmed
“To know when to go away and when to come closer is the key to any lasting relationship.”Doménico Cieri Estrada
Yes, there are times that you just get chocked either by the excessive supply of affection or get discouraged by the constant lack of it that you really would want to take a bow and bring the show to an end.
Some other times you just want to explore other options. It is important to know that this is a thing. You are human so it happens. You could even develop feelings for someone other than your partner, it happens. But when these happen, it is our response that determines the future of our relationships.
If you are prone to get choked by constant affection, you are not a bad person. Speak to your partner and draw out a common ground for the good of your union. If the opposite is the case and you suffer from neglect, a conversation could help too, but if you’ve analyzed the situation and have weighed your options thoroughly and you decide to walk away, that is also valid.
Just be sure to be critical of your decision. If you fancy someone else, that’s cool. That’s normal. All you need to do is be intentional about choosing your partner over and again. Because if you jumped on every fancy, you will end up in a shipwreck.
#10. Death Happens
This slaps hard but it’s the reality of our lives. Everyone dies. And while this is not to tell you to dwell on the fact, it is to say that every moment we live is a gift, a really precious one and we should treat it as such.
Appreciate relationships, express your feelings with your loved ones, be in touch with your emotions, make memories, fight, cry, makeup. Basically, live. Sometimes all that is left to hold on to is memories and if we do not have good ones, we are bound to a lifetime of unquenchable regret.
As the title suggests, these are hard truths about relationships that you either do not want to hear or are in denial of. Not to say that there are not more truths about relationships that slaps hard, but these are handpicked today, and the earlier we accepted these truths, the better for us.